i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize