So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize