Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
