I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
