We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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