Do you still have your period?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
