I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
