I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
