it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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