uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
