Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Text me some of your sweat
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
