turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
