with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
