scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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