Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
