when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
