OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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