you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
