I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
