my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
false alarm, still single
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
