Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

can we get nightvision for the apartment?

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(705): View more from Ontario

Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?

(1-705): View more from Ontario

That would be awkward if he commented on your status

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.

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(785): View more from Kansas

MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.

(207): View more from Maine

HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.

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