Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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