why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
