ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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