Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
