Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
