so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
