You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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