Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
