Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
