Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
