The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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