Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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