he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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