She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
