I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Found the puke drawer
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
