Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
