Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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