i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
