He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
