I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
