I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
