The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize