I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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