Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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