she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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