I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
