Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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