Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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