how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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