Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
