I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize