I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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