you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
