halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I didn't notice because vodka
Just high enough for therapy.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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