why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize