Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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