honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
