..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
