I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
