that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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