I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
