I hope mine doesn't look like that
She announced her abortion via fbk
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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