fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
