His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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